| Writings |
Rae |
Past |
Visuals |
But if your heart's not in it, for real.
Please dont try to fake what you dont feel.
If love's already gone,
Its not fair to lead me on.
Cause, i would give the whole world, for you.
Anything you'd ask of me, i'll do.
But i wont ask you to say,
I'd rather walk away.
If your heart's not in it.
the first time i saw you, i knew you were special.
what is the feeling of being happy like?
i dont understand, is fate playing wif me?
what is love.
i hate you, you were nothing but a pack of lies.
you stole my everything.
i'm so glad you're out of my life now.
why do people come and go?
why cant people just stay for good?
my time wid you was so short,
i wish we were given more time.
if only i could choose.
is life fair?
yes, life is very very fair.
i'm so fugly,
that noone even wants to take a look at me.
why do i keep repeating the same song?
why do i want you back?
why do i always do stupid things?
why is it that my heart feels for you so much?
why do i keep going back to see yr pictures?
i'm running away, from everything.
i dont want to know, not even a single thing.
i cant answer you, nor myself,
am i really happy.
are my smiles real?
nobody loves me, everybody hates me.
i'm gonna eat some worms.
i thought you liked me,
did you show me?
nothing but false hopes.
false hopes for me, no way.
i dont even give a damn.
i think you're such a jerk.
i hate you.
you're the worst piece of shit on this earth.
you despicable fagot.
why wont you just let me off.
i wish i could read people's mind.
i noticed that you were looking at me too.
i hate horny bastards like you.
whats wid everything?
quit playing mind games wif me.
i love korean.
who really understands me?
i dont understand myself too.
how i wish i could fly.
how i was i could cry.
why is my heart made of stone?
i think i'm so heartless.
how now brown cow?
sorry, for being so random.
i'm seriously pissed wid singaporeans!
grrrr, why are people so ignorant.
why cant they just give up seats to old people?!
today, despite being so dead tired and wanting to get some sleep while on the train,
i could give up my seat for this old ahmah.
and the bastards in front and beside me just couldnt do the same!
WTH. honestly, i'm not publicising my good deed today (i've have good karma for doing so, though.).
its just that i'm utterly disgusted and disappointed wid singaporeans.
you know, every saturday, i just become uglier and darker.=(
jc's is full of scandals,
i dont like.=(
perhaps i've fallen for you all over again.
i want to see yr hair!
sometimes, i just wonder why i'm stupid enough to let you go.
you know, when you're lonely and sad,
you tend to see things in a different perspective.
i saw the person standing there,
perhaps he didnt want to interact,
perhaps he just didnt like crowds.
but somehow, my heart goes out for him,
doesnt he feel lonely?
beneath the facade of smiles and laughter,
have it ever come across to you,
how bad i actually feel inside?
you once told me,
you feared noone would be there to wipe away my tears when i cry.
yr fear came true,
who was there to wipe them away last night?
re-edited
and when the world crashes down upon you,
tell me, what would you do?
and when all you think of is the past,
and all you can feel is emotions of regret,
what would you do?
and if,
you dont want to live anymore,
tell me what would you do?
life is fair, because everyone's life is unfair.
everything's so unfair.
you're so unfair.
-
you know how much i miss you?
i think you've got the most beautiful name in the world.
hearing yr name simply makes me go weak on my knees.
these two pictures were taken this morning,
hair's in a mess. ohh gaawwddd, it certainly looks horrible!
okay, i was trying to post up a picture of my hair looking JET BLACK.
and a smile to show i really like it. =|
accounting for the yucky hair, i've been in front of the comp ever since i was up from bed.
i woke up early to do my jae.
okay, i didnt wake up early, i could exactly sleep. =(
and its been like only 2+ hours of me in front of the comp,
i can feel heat radiating from the cpu.
what a dumb pc.
fourteen feb just passed like that,
i didnt get a single rose!
HA, its okay.
why should i be getting a rose when i'm not even attached!
i didnt even go to school,
no classmates/schoolmates to give me roses or chocolates.
but, i forgot that i still have cookies untouched, in my drawer.(thanks to AWJIE & ONGXIANG'S baking.)
i'm so in love wid my new template. yaaay! :D
i hate imagestation, i think my blocked my access and deleted all my albums there.
damn, i lost so many precious captured memories.
i think the world is scary,
especially people who lead double lives.
i'm posting up random pictures taken on twelve feb,
its not censored, just for yr information.
(its not really explicit, just for a certain picture.hees X))
korean's really tough.=(
sarang heyo.
hello readers,
its valentines day today.
and i think i'm spending it alone at home.
gracious me, when did i become so lonely and unpopular!
perhaps, i always was.
a new skin on vday,
what a nice present to myself!
thank you wongwanruganma for her tigger pouch. :)
and i was ranting to mel abt how lonely i am on vday,
she goes crazy over the andrewcouncilor from aj;
·мissy· • ♥166 • says:
CUTE LOR PLS
·мissy· • ♥166 • says:
look at his braces
·мissy· • ♥166 • says:
look at his smile
·мissy· • ♥166 • says:
look at his eyes
btw, she's attached. erm...?
oh gawwdd, i'm definitely gonna miss two friends of mine,
who are in australia right now.
it has dawned upon me that as one grows older,
more friends will leave one's side.
however, ONGXIANG takes a different point of view;
know you know why my friends are all so poor and stupid.
poor, for they can never afford to study overseas.
stupid, for they can never win a scholarship to study overseas.
did i mention that my sister ONGXIANG is the cutest thing ever! hoho
and later, i'm going cycling! =)
okay, i'm gonna burn of tonnes of fats on my body. thats hot
after which, i have training!
which means, i'll burn of even more fats. yaaay
i've been feeling really unwell all these days.
after meals, i'm so damn tempted to stick my finger into my mouth and make myself puke everything out. gaawd
i've realised that i'm one heartless bitch.
i hate myself for being so nonchalant when i know you're suffering in pain.
i hate myself for not even feeling a thing.
perhaps i shouldnt even existed.
when can i stop hurting people?
this morning's pretty good,
until i saw something that leaves me shaking really badly right now.
ohhh gaaawwwwdddd.
i shant elaborate, i shant go on abt it.
i dont know, raaahhh.
i love cedar so much!
i was like practically tearing when they showed the statistics.
cedar did so well,
our batch did so well.
we proved our worth, despite being the worst batch. (in academic wise)
and i was so emotionless after i got my results,
i was more of sad and disappointed.
but i dont know why, i just couldnt cry.=(
and then, i saw ms nair.
she was like talking to me, telling me i did well and i couldnt help it i just bursted out crying.
all the disappointment came flooding out.
she hugged me so many times! :)
and the best of all, i was proud to tell her
ms nair, i dont have any gfs anymore.
and after everything, i realised i counted my l1r5 wrongly.
yes, what the hell.
i gave her another hug in the end.:D
WHO WATCHED THE NEWS YESTERDAY?!
i've got my 2 seconds of fame. :D
chowenxin is the top scorer in singapore,
but i congratuated her anyway.
(i even gave her a hug! can you like believe it?!)
as i was saying, i was on the news yesterday!
i just chap in and be an extra while they we filming wenxin. hoho
but i was so ugly! =( raahh, i'm always ugly.
towning wid mingming and ongxiang!
like after eons, we took neos together. :D
but i had to leave them cos i had company dinner.=(
and they were so nice to walk me to the train station in the rain! that's hot.
company dinner was like so cool!
my drank like lots of wine?!
and everyone had a wine toast for me for my okay-la results.
headed to one of my daddy's staff's house after that,
they had their rounds of blackjack.
and i was only back home at twoplus?
i wish i could stop thinking of you;
everthing's like damn dumb.
the rainy weather, the 4 long periods of chem lab,
the 3 damn periods of gp (though today wasnt that bad cos we were watching a educational video), the teacher for catching my hair LIKE AGAIN though i dyed it back alr.
digressing, i was almost in tears okay, not that the teacher scolded me or what, but i dyed it brown, and she insists on black;
i raised the white flag.
and the dumbest is, coming back home and sleeping straight away.
comeon, i dont think i'll be able to catch any sleep tonight.
okay, i've been ranting like a bitch(as you can see from the above).
i'm just tired and upset.
today's so dumb.
and tomorrow, the release of the Olevel results.
i think most prob i'll be staying in aj,
i've really enjoyed every day of school!
i had a great time relaxing wid val in nexus today!
:D the cushions were great.
and even best of all, i've let out the most annoying thing thats in my mind now.
i <3 val!
there are so many things running through my mind.
i've been really drained out these few days,
both physically, mentally and emotionally.
i really want to thank awmingming for being there,
(even though she two-times and stuff,
and for being in HK now)
and my belowed sister ongxiang!
including teachers for flooding me wid so much hw and hockey wid so many trainings,
that i'm unable to think abt so many things.
i think my lang sucks totally today,
pardon me.
i'm so in <3 wid hockey!
i've gotten my own stick,
and jess brought the ajhockey shirt for us today!:DDD
honestly, i've been improving since the very first time i played.
and trainings are so tiring and they end so late,
they take up so much of my time, and thats so good!
this means i dont have spare time to think rubbish.
nothing much abt aj life.
just that i had crosscty yesterday and i ran like shit.
okay, i came in 14th in the j1 level. hoho
i'm so surprised. it had dawned upon me that cedarians can really run!
my chinese teacher calls me banana :( just because my chinese is LOUSY!
white inside, yellow outside; get it?
my heart tells me you're unreachable;
Rachel / Rae
24th nov 1989
raeraerae_@hotmail.com
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